LIFE, A DAY AT A TIME

Photo/ courtesy In the midst of youthful exuberance and the whirlwind of teenage emotions, an unexpected connection blossomed. I found myself entangled with a fellow teenager, trying to navigate the mystery  called love.  Fresh out  of the confines of high school, I felt I had found the love of my life. In hindsight, I realize was  too young to truly grasp the depth of my emotions. And so was he. Amid the whirlwind of teenage emotions, I was excited to discover that our feelings towards each other were mutual. Our connection growing quite swiftly,  credit to the fact that we saw each other quite often.  I couldn't help but share my newfound happiness with my colleagues, inadvertently hinting that they didn't meet my "tdh" - tall dark and handsome criteria like he did much to their chagrin. They would exchange knowing glances whenever they'd see us together and that sort of mischievousness was such a thrill for me. It hadn't occurred to me then that I was...

                          Courtesy The truth about malady is that it strips away your humanity, leaving you emotionally and socially  bankrupt.  isolating you within society, reducing your connections and support. Amidst the hardships, a peculiar transformation occurs. Either you start  harboring a deep-seated indignation or you  simultaneously develop superhuman abilities of empathy and compassion towards others. You become reluctant to dial numbers, to check in on as almost always , they're perceived  as desperate need pleas. You live in solitude bcz sometimes this diminished state creates room for disrespect, dehumanization and abhorrence. The illness perpetuates a vicious cycle, where it looms over you, threatening to bring even more misery if you dare to deviate from its oppressive rules, of systemic living, pills and sometimes portions. It mocks you with its relentless grimness, further alien...

 If mental disorders had physical signs, on the body's ,Like a scar perhaps.  They'd reveal that a person is  really terribly  unwell'  When you look at her, you wouldn't tell she's wrestling with wild thoughts,  a sense of immense emptiness and a mind that refuses to calm down..    No, especially not when she has some makeup on her face,  somehow it helps her conceal she's miserable  She'll look happy, inadequate to be called happiness. like it once did.   Engulfed in emptiness ,nothingness and meaninglessness.  waking up everyday to die.   Mental health conditions are  bondage, slavery ,  Running a marathon inside her head. The world ,middle of an ocean full of dangerous sea creatures..Alert mode on held prisoner by her own mind.   Always pondering on dark imaginings , Those who passed away by suicide How did they maneuver some things,  How to fasten rope properly, most lethal poison.  Did t...

                             Photo/Courtesy  When you have been through a traumatic experience ,your mind experiences negative change. As a person, you carry shame and embarrassment. When people look at you feel as if they can see right through you, right through all your secrets. As a result, you learn to sort of occupy a less space. You learn to avoid ,to disconnect. At a social event for example you find yourself isolating and  staying unseen. And you almost become invisible. But sometimes in the quest to self improve, you try seek validation by connecting. You want to be heard ,seen and understood, so you seek love, friendship because that  love is a source of validation. But the more you try, the more broken you feel. It turns into a quagmire because you thought you'd be fine if you had caring friends and a supportive partner. In the long term you realize no amount of secondary love can heal a...

In 2017, I began experiencing major changes in my reproductive health accompanied by some unusual symptoms. After consulting   with an OB-GYN, I received a diagnosis for an illness I had never heard of hitherto.  Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome One of the gynecologist's recommendations was for me to start a diet in order to manage the symptom of weight gain. I had gained weight at a very fast rate and had become overweight as a result. Upon conducting a quick research on google, I discovered a wealth of information pertaining diet that I knew I would never be able to implement. Since then, a lot has changed, including the emergence of additional disease-related consequences despite my earlier presumptions that PCOS  was a rather benign disorder. Due to the incapacitating effect of the ancillary complications, the condition could be debilitating. Until 2022  I had not been steadfast in sticking to a workout schedule despite the fact that doing so is crucial for...

My love Photo/Courtesy Greetings! I hope this finds you at least  learning a hobby or making money. period! I'm chewing sesame seeds as I write this , so we're gonna need your money for a decent living boo😍  Expect  a little resistance on showing up because you have taken forever to finding me! In fact I almost embarked on a journey to find you but gave up on it as kissing frogs was part of the process, a 'vice' I long ceased indulging in. The idea of you is  a pretty good one. I ponder about  it so much that it  could pass for my favourite hobby. 😁my diary has had enough even. By now you're acquainted to the fact that I might be a tad bit self absorbed, I mean, I keep referencing myself while all this was  to be about you. But don't you worry my love ,when you show up, you'll be the centre of my world baby. About your looks,I expect you're not a pretty boy  [wink].OK get me clear here,the whole world shouldn't think you're ugly, a few people m...

  photo/Courtesy So, I discovered that I'm obese! a couple of months ago Don't get me wrong, I knew I weighed more than I should, but obese?! Obesity seemed like such a  far away and foreign  occurrence to me. Obesity, I assumed, was a condition that only the unhealthiest individuals could have. Surprisingly, I meet folks who are substantially larger and infer that they must have poor eating habits and thus are consequently obese. But not  me? Me, who eats a primarily vegetarian diet? To obtain a healthy weight, I only needed to do a few pushups and sit-ups, as well as jog for a month, according to me. I assumed it wasn't that horrible. I'm aware of the predisposing elements that brought me here, but they won't help much with this discussion since I'm already here. I also don't get too worked up over it. In fact, I think about it about as much as I think about the form of my head's crown. That's not at all. Obesity is not merely an aesthetic issue; i...